Monday, March 16, 2009

St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

St. Patrick’s Day Riddles

What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish?
Paddy O’Furniture

What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?
a sham rock

Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
because they are always wearing green

What do you get if you chase a Leprechaun for his pot of gold?
Tired!

When is an Irish Potato not an Irish Potato?
when it is a French fry

Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?
he couldn’t afford plane fare

What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river?
he gets wet

What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?
a leper con

Where will you always find gold?
in the dictionary

What kind of bow can’t be tied?
a rainbow

What do you call an Irish man who knows how to control his wife?
a bachelor

What do you get if you crossed Christmas with St. Patrick’s Day?
Santa O’Claus
What do you get if you crossed Quasi modo with an
Irish football player?
the halfback of Notre Dame

What do you call an 8 foot tall leprechaun who carries a large club?
sir

Why do so many people live in Ireland?
because the capital is always Dublin

Why do we wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?
because regular rocks are too heavy

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?
you don’t want to press your luck

Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height?
only a little

What do you get when you cross a leprechaun and a frog?
a little green man with a croak of gold

Did you hear about the man who wanted to sound Irish?
he decided to go for brogue

Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
in the little league

What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off the walls?
Rick O’Shea


What was missing from the Irish stew?
It could have used a pinch of Gaelic!

How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
If he’s Dublin over with laughter.

Who drove the snakes out of Ireland?
No one--there weren’t any cars back then.

Why did the leprechaun wear green suspenders?
To keep his dander up.

How late do leprechauns stay up?
Until the wee, small hours.


Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Irish!
Irish who?
Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

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